While showering, I had to be honest with myself. All the scrubbing in the world could not wash away the dirt and shame that I felt. No amount of soap, or designer shampoo would get rid of the feeling of darkness over me. I could soak in rubbing alcohol and dry off with a Brillo pad, and it would be to no avail. Only the precious, perfect, powerful blood of the perfect Lamb, Jesus Christ, can remove my dirty sins.

You know, sometimes it’s hard for me to get over my stereotypes.
I have 2 examples, one, of the mindset that Mexican are dirty people. I heard it so much in America, that, before I could go on my mission trip, God had to deal with me. I had to practice saying the word ‘Mexican’. I had to intentionally change my view. It was hard, and even now I have to stop and check what I’m saying or thinking about any group-because it’s never true of a majority.
The other example would be prayer. I have always been under the influence that prayer MUST be solemn, and very serious. As a Christian acknowledging Jesus as Lord, and not just Savior, it’s a pretty daunting thing to tackle. I, even now, consciously tell myself that Prayer=talking to God. If I don’t, I find myself putting off prayer because I am not somewhere quiet, completely shut of from the world. I am in no wise saying that prayer can not be done in those settings, but it’s not mandatory. There won’t always be times where we can go off and just pray. There will be times where we will be forced to pray where we stand. If you hear nothing else, hear this: Prayer is talking to your best, most intimate, favorite Friend ever, who just happens to hold your life and soul in His hands. Yes, prayer will be solemn. But prayer is communication in the most important relationship of your earthly existence. Talk to God. Prayer is just talking to God, you can even smile. Enjoy talking to God, He does.

Sorry that was such a chunk. What I really came to write this blog about was a tangent of surrender. While having a revelation overload, I saw a picture of myself, if you will. And I was saying this to Jesus, :
Lord, I want to be completely under your control. I sacrifice myself right now, at the altar. I want you to guide me. Lord, I want to say, “I’ve picked up my cross Lord. Where to? I want to be so full of you that everyone I meet will forget my name and remember Yours. That they will not remember what I said, but know that You spoke to them. That they would be drawn to You. That they will know that You exist, and You love them.”

I don’t know guys, I am just so full of God right now.

Another thing, it says somewhere in 1 Peter, that we should always be ready to given an account for the joy that we have, but to do it with gentleness and respect. And I was just practicing what I would say on God (Excellent audience if I may say so), and it went something like this.
That someone, like the early church, would grab me, and ask me what was different about me. And I would respond in a likewise manner, “I am at a place in my life where I have someone who cares for me. He makes sure that I have something to eat, somewhere to go, someone to talk to. He insures that I am never alone. He always does what is best for me. He completely rules my life, and yet He is not controlling. He advises me in all things, but forces me to do nothing. I have no problem serving Him, no qualms with doing as He wishes, because He has never thought twice about sacrificing everything for me. He gave up all of His comfort to be with me. He was beaten, made fun of, spit on, and killed for me, but he never opened His mouth to defend Himself. He endured ridicule and hatred, just so He could have a relationship with me.” At this point I would probably be shaking my head, then I would add, “And He wants the same peace of mind, and relationship with you, as I have with Him. Jesus Christ, Son of God, aches for your heart to beat for Him. He desires to lavish His love on you, as He does on all those who acknowledge Him. Would you like to know how to obtain that love?”

Lengthy, I know, but I am hard-pressed to describe my King in less words. Family, I love you all. Operate in your gifts-God knows what He’s doing. Trust Him-even when you don’t have to. That’s it for this princess.