Here’s a small bit of what exchange went down in my heart last night:

“If I sent you halfway across the world, alone, with Me, of course, but lacking all other human contact except those that believe something different from you, would you go?”

Yes.

“But if I asked you to live humbly, the wife of one amazing man, mother to godly children, would you?”

Do I have that answer? Do I think that marriage and kids are an end all for me? That it’s not big enough? That it’s not enough? Is that cocky of me? Aren’t we taught to dream big? Accomplish things not done in your lifetime? But isn’t sowing seeds into those that come after you in the form of your children continuing your work? Or is it better to disciple others by yourself? But, if family is what You have for me, I should be content? Right? But if it’s not, and if travel for world missions excites me more, is that for me or the coming generation? Can I be a stay at home mom? Will I? Can I be a midwife with a family of my own? Without one? For time, sharing in a joy that will never be mine? Then, won’t I tire of it? What then, Lord?

What now?

 

 

*Disclaimer-though I wish, I have yet to have a calling to world missions, though I enjoy it.