It’s just so hard to trust people. To expect their reaction will be what yours would. How can I trust someone to feel how I would feel? To know how I would feel. Much less, care how I would feel. Really? I mean, really? You’re going to think of how everything will affect me. Really? And, on top of that, you expect me to believe that you will then alter your decision so that I am less negatively affected. Right. Sure. Whatever you say.

This is not me being sarcastic. Okay, this is not me being only sarcastic. I really am baffled by this. You care so much for me that you sacrifice, CONSTANTLY, what you and maybe the world at large would prefer. Yea, cause that’s reasonable.

And when you fail? When you do something that, intentionally or otherwise, causes me pain or loss, what then? What could I possibly do with that? I care so much for you I would do anything…except when I won’t. This is the fight that I lose when I choose to feel. I lose the solidity of black and white. You do or you don’t. There is no almost. There is no try. There is success and there is failure. How can I accept failure AND know I can trust you?

This one is where God messes it up for everyone. Because that guy, is perfect. He never fails. He never misses his mark. Can you do that? Can you be that precise? Of course not. And neither can I. So, why bother with all of this trusting business?

Either do or don’t. Everything else is lost in the gray.