The problem with feeling is…See I tried. I did. I tried this whole feeling thing. I even tried the share feeling with, for, about someone thing. I gave it a good go. A really good go.

But. Hear me: I’m done.

I’m not saying it’s not fun (for a while). I’m not saying it’s not cool (pretty darn cool in some ways). I’m not even saying it was a (complete) waste.

I shared. I opened. I felt. I talked. I listened. I imagined. And now, I quit.

It may be cool for you. May be good for you. Exciting for you. But for me? It’s not worth it.

Know what I felt? Giddy. Silly. Butterflies. Shock. Hurt. Disgust. Hot. Warm. Cold. Ignored. Focused on. Slighted. Happy. Sad. Upset. Tiredness. Excitement. Eagerness. Dread.

You name it, I may have felt it. And I have found that I would be okay if I didn’t feel it again. The drain is not worth it. The trade is not worth it. The ache is not worth it.

Because you know what? She still leaves. Active. Current. Leaves. And he still leaves. Abandons. Departs. THAT does not change. The degree in which I FEEL THE VOID changes. And that, to me, is not worth the other things. Not even close.