Lord, I don’t like this part of being human. Can you please take it away?
“Is it not enough to know, my child, that Jesus felt the same?
“No, I just can’t take it. I’m tearing them apart.
“Who?” Anyone who has a claim on this fallen, broken heart.
I have so many recent problems, so many grumblings in my soul
“Coming through the fire, love, is a way to make you whole.”
It sure doesn’t feel like fire. Just emotions and pure doubt.
It only seems to hurt him more when I let the feelings out.
I am so sick of crying, I have wet my bed with tears.
How is it that he must not stray, for dozens of coming years?
Why stay when the words from the mouth of his sweet, young bride
Make dangerous the path to share. Why anything but hide?
What benefit is it to him, to be assaulted by my words?
When from his lips he fast declares the thoughts themselves absurd?
How graceless I have been, oh Lord. How uncaring, unkind.
Why, it may be safe to say I am losing my mind.
The salt and water, sorrow comes, it seems most every night.
I clutch my pillow in despair, bemoan the loss of light.
How can I subject those I love to such terrible fate?
How can I, should I, must avoid instilling in him, hate?