Category: Devotion


His lead

This is my husband
reading
Scripture.
This is my husband
leading.
Sometime he reads
while I do other things.
But this is my husband
reading
Scripture.
My heart longs
to follow
this man.
Do I always read when
he does?
No, not often.
But I want to.
And the more I see him
reading
Scripture
the more I want to follow
suit.
This is my husband
reading
Scripture.
This is my husband
leading
well.

Advertisements

Enough

Marry Me – by Train

This song gives me the most peculiar feeling. I can’t quite place it. It’s not sad or anxious or even jealous. But, what is it?

“Forever could never be long enough for me, to feel like I’ve had long enough with you.”

First of all, hats OFF to Train for this amazing line. Secondly: Whoa. Whoa. That is my response to this statement. How could forever not be long enough? It’s FOREVER. How much love (and like) must you have for someone for this to be true? Yet, listening to this, I know that is how God feels about me.

Say wha? Right.

He created each of us, intentionally, and His perfect will is to spend eternity with us. Eternity. Eternity! Is that not jaw-dropping to anyone else?

1. He meant to make me
2. He likes what He made
3. He wants to spend eternity with what His hands have made
4. He meant to make me
5. He MEANT to make me

That doesn’t astound you? Even a little bit? It. Blows. My. Mind.

“Together could never be close enough for me, to feel like I am close enough to you.”

Again, tip those hats. God is not satisfied to be outside of me? Not in the same room. Not in the same 3 feet. Not even standing shoulder to shoulder. Scripture says that Jesus desires for us to be one, as He and the Father are One. Not until He resides in the chambers of my heart is He close enough.

This song is incredibly romantic. Incredibly. And how lovely that the greatest romance this side of eternity, pales in comparison to the awe-inspiring, most daring, sacrificial, heart-wrenching romance ever written. And it was written by the hand above.

That same hand. That very same hand. Formed me. Before the Earth began. Before time started ticking. That hand, that mind, that heart, thought me up, and decided exactly where I would be. Every moment. Of every day. Of ever year. For my entire existence. He knew both the heartache I would bring myself. The heartache I would suffer at the hands of others. And the heartache I would cause Him. And yet, He made me. Joyfully. Lovingly. Intentionally. He made me. He created me. And He loves His creation.

His faithfulness astounds me.

It’s been what? Two weeks? Two weeks of me inconsistently praying as I said I would. Two weeks of me forgetting for hours what I committed to do. Two weeks of me trying to be wisely be the woman you’ve ordained me to be.

And in that time. Only 13 days later, I’m seeing results.

I guess I was frigid, uncaring. Now that I’m actively trying, striving to honor you in every way, results have come quickly. I know you don’t employ a universal approach to each situation, much less each person. But, wow.

Astounded. Astounding. How your faithfulness astounds me. Thank you, Lord, for what you’ve done in me, around me, regardless of me.

Praise Your holy Name.

I want this to be true of me.

**Totally surrendered to Your embrace**

Jesus is the real deal.

I love God.

That’s all for now.

Hoping to pick up this blogging thing again, soon.

I am desperate, desperate, for more of You
and I can’t wait another day to see You move
how my heart is hungry for the chance
to sit at Your feet and feel Your presence
feel Your presence in the deepest part of me.

Sometimes, sometimes I feel so desperate for a touch from my Lord that I am near tears.
Sometimes, just the thought of Him is enough for my heart to beat irregularly.
Sometimes, I feel a great wave of emotion for no other reason than His existence.
Sometimes, I feel like letting go, but don’t know how, and don;t know if I’ll regret it later.

Today, is one of those sometimes.
I feel like almost anything could bring me to tears right now.
I don’t know how much my ‘strong ‘ facade can take.
I’m not sure if I’ll lose it today.

God, I am desperate for You. I am desperate for You to do something in my life. I am desperate for you to take over, because I can’t lead this life on my own. Dad, I need you. During worship Sunday, you stood before me and I sang a song something like this to You Lord: “I remember, when you were with me. And then You left me, no, I left You. But I feel You now, please come back to me. I feel Your Presence-I need You. I need You. I need You. I need You.” That still holds true for me, Father, even now. You are my hope. I like the song: In You we live, Lord, In You we move. In You we breathe, and have our being.” How true, God. How true that all we are is because of You. That this chance at life is because of the sacrifice of your Son’s.
Hear our prayer
Spirit come.
How I long
for Your sweet touch.
Amen.

Worship

In light of recent prophecies, finding of old visions, and a renewed appreciation for who God is, I am in the mood to worship!

But, it seems that nothing I am doing, or can do, is, or will ever be, enough to express to my God how thankful I am, or who brilliant He is.

I can sing, shout, dance, spin in circles, speak in tongues, tell others about Him, bow prostrate before Him, weep endlessly, jump in pure elation, say thank you with every coming breath, feed orphans and widows, give to great causes, advance the Kingdom, and yet…none of it seems enough. None of it comes anywhere near even a glimpse of how marvelous my King is!

How frustrating it must be to constantly be in this reality.

How helpless we feel when we cannot contain and simultaneously not express the joy our Lord has given us.

If only You had given us mouths to speak, Adonai, Dayenu!

Aaahhhh! How can I express my love for my God!?
My heart is exploding, but my chest cannot release the full of it’s power.

Help me to worship You in spirit and truth. Help me to do all I can to praise you.

You have filled my heart with wonder. You made me to worship. Lead me to worship You.

Top o’ the Mornin’ to ya!

Hey there, faithful readers. I am sorry for making all of you go without for so long.

Hope I didn’t come off as depressed or crazy. But if I did, at least the crazy part’s true.

Anywho, ever since I began going to 7am prayer Tuesdays and Thursday, I have been getting woken up early. I mean, God is taking this whole, making me into a Proverbs 31 woman seriously.

I did not set an alarm for this morning, and yet, 8am sharp, who’s up? Yep. Me! Um, Jesus…it’s Saturday. But, I feel rested, and that is all I really need.

But I wake up with the Spirit of God around me. I can feel Him trying to get closer to me. And I love that. I love that, as soon as I wake, my God is there beside me, and my spirit eagerly desires to commune with Him.

This morning I woke with these lyrics in my mind: I am desperate, desperate, for more of You. And I can’t wait another, day to see You move. How my heart is hungry, for the chance, to sit at Your feet, and feel Your presence, feel Your presence in the deepest part of me.”

And it was followed by this prayer: God, I AM desperate for you. Only you can fill me and never disappoint me. God, I need you right now. I have never before felt this way, never before felt this need for you. I feel like something new has been woken inside of me, and now it won’t go away. God, I need only you. Lord, please be my everything, as you’ve always been, please continue to be. I need you to fill me God. Keep my eyes on you.”

I love my Lord. And I can’t wrap my mind around Him loving me. In this time of internal chaos, and external storm, I can feel the might of my God. His power has never left me. His Spirit has never forsaken me. His strength is something that I know is real just as much as I am. My God is a consuming fire! His jealousy for me is righteous and loving. No greater love has a man than to lay down his life for his friend. I know of no other, no not another, king like my King, Jesus.

Thanks for reading this, hope it encourages you. Seek His face. Pray for more. He will deliver, and whatever wait or trial, would have been worth it.

“You are clothed with splendor and majesty. He wraps Himself in light, as with a garment.” Psalm 104

So, today I was woken up at 7:48am.
There was no alarm, no loud sound. No groggy feeling and desire to return to sleep.
Just a stillness that I knew meant my God wanted to speak with me.
He told me some stuff like, turn to channel 12. The day show was on, I think.
(I think that was just a test of my obedience.)
Anyway, God showed me something like this:
A father, holding his daughter is what looks to be the softest, fluffiest pink blanket ever. And he offers her to a man standing in front of him, with a sorrow so clear in your eyes, you feel it in your own heart. I still feel it. And God seemed to say something like this, : “Such it is when a man gives his daughter away to marriage.”
Another vision was the same father, but this time the daughter was a toddler. He was walking her down the aisle.
And God said this, : “Such is it for any man who gives his daughter’s hand in marriage.”

Understanding? No matter what the age, a father always feels as though he is giving his baby (literally), baby girl to someone else. It is the strength of the father, to give his daughter into another man’s protection, to trust another human with his daughter’s life, but it is also his sorrow.

Then, God danced with me. La Rumba and the Hustle. While spinning and stepping, I spoke to God my recent worries and prayers. Ending our dance with me hugging his waist, admitting that I wanted to be nothing but His.

I lay on the floor, prostrate in prayer.
I’ll try to explain what I saw.
Imagine this: A man walks up, his face is a blur, he has on a tan hat. He walks a few steps, and stops as he reaches a tree with small, round red berries all over it. His hand, only a blur, the fingers are not readily distinguishable, lifts up, and removes a berry from it’s own pair of leaves. An older man, the father, watches from the tree, hidden mostly by the other leaves and branches. At this moment, the feeling he has is mostly bitter, the sweet has yet to come.

God whispers this to me, “Like a man picking the choicest berry from a tree, is a daughter plucked from the hands of her father.”

Understanding? Parents spend their lives, the better part at least, nurturing us, and attempting to prune all the bad things from us. Time, effort, love and care are poured into us. Yet, a man can come, and, in the blink of an eye, remove us from his (the father’s) reach of care and protection.
We (the daughters) now fit in the palm of this new hand. The hand of our husband, trusting that he will never throw us to the ground unwanted, or crush out of us the little juice we can muster with his heel. And our father watches, hoping the same. Though the tree provides everything the berry needs during its time attached to it, once it falls, or is removed, from the tree, the only thing it takes with it, is hope.

Yikes!
Anybody out there have questions, comments, concerns?
Any wise interpretations?
I’m all ears!

From Isaiah 12 (mostly)

With joy! I draw water from the wells of salvation!
With joy! I draw water from the wells of salvation! (2 times)

With joy! With joy! With joy (held a little longer)! (maybe not here)

My God is a cistern! My God is a cistern!
My God is a cistern! My God is a cistern!
My God, is a cistern! My God, is a cistern!
My God, is a cistern! My God, is a cistern!

With joy! I draw water from the wells of salvation!
With joy! I draw water from the wells of salvation! (2 times)

With joy! With joy! With joy (held a little longer)!

Give thanks to the Lord and call on His name
Make known among the nations, all His people proclaim
That His name is exalted, He’s done glorious things
Let all the people bow in respect for our King!
Let all the people bow at the throne of our King.
Everyone will bow, at the feet of our King!

For great is the Holy One of Israel among us!
For great is the Holy One of Israel among us.
For great is the Holy One of Israel among us.

With joy! With joy! With joy!