Category: Worship


After that quick bite, we get another call and head out.

On scene, we enter a private residence and enter the first room on the left. In it is an older woman complaining of pain and vomiting. She asks us to close the door behind ourselves to secure the home. Part of an EMT’s responsibility is to, within reason, secure the patient’s home and belongings. If we cannot, officers can be called on scene to lock up behind us.

Once on the truck, the patient asks for an emesis bag (emesis means to vomit). Upon receiving one (*gross alert*) she promptly and continually fills it with a somewhat deep and bright green bile. She was sick due to radiation treatments used to cure her pancreatic cancer. Yes, the pancreas has lots to do with bile. While the liver produces bile and the pancreas other digestive juices, they share a duct that takes these enzymes to the stomach to aid digestion. The patient also had diabetes.

In between emesis moments, Kimberly asked question to fill out the PCR and the patient was quite compliant to answer them. However, on the ride to the hospital, she did stop answering questions with words, due to fatigue, and just laid quietly.

Kimberly and I also performed a finger stick to get a BGL (blood glucose level). Kimberly gets two readings when she checks BGL and records the second reading. This is a difference of style, not of substance. Sometimes the patient doesn’t have enough blood to give you two readings.

Captain Holland, when lecturing on the ins and outs of getting BGLs on patients said: “The proper acronym for blood sugar is BGL. We were going to use BS but that was taken for something else.”

This lady reminded me of my Grandma. My Grandma had a cancer that was removed completely by surgery, no other interventions needed or used. This call made me thank God for sparing her from radiation therapy. However, it also made me thank God for allowing healing in this way as well. How worthy the God I serve. To allow healing in many ways, though He owes and guarantees us nothing in the way healthy, easy lives. Praise Him.

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I am desperate, desperate, for more of You
and I can’t wait another day to see You move
how my heart is hungry for the chance
to sit at Your feet and feel Your presence
feel Your presence in the deepest part of me.

Sometimes, sometimes I feel so desperate for a touch from my Lord that I am near tears.
Sometimes, just the thought of Him is enough for my heart to beat irregularly.
Sometimes, I feel a great wave of emotion for no other reason than His existence.
Sometimes, I feel like letting go, but don’t know how, and don;t know if I’ll regret it later.

Today, is one of those sometimes.
I feel like almost anything could bring me to tears right now.
I don’t know how much my ‘strong ‘ facade can take.
I’m not sure if I’ll lose it today.

God, I am desperate for You. I am desperate for You to do something in my life. I am desperate for you to take over, because I can’t lead this life on my own. Dad, I need you. During worship Sunday, you stood before me and I sang a song something like this to You Lord: “I remember, when you were with me. And then You left me, no, I left You. But I feel You now, please come back to me. I feel Your Presence-I need You. I need You. I need You. I need You.” That still holds true for me, Father, even now. You are my hope. I like the song: In You we live, Lord, In You we move. In You we breathe, and have our being.” How true, God. How true that all we are is because of You. That this chance at life is because of the sacrifice of your Son’s.
Hear our prayer
Spirit come.
How I long
for Your sweet touch.
Amen.

Worship

In light of recent prophecies, finding of old visions, and a renewed appreciation for who God is, I am in the mood to worship!

But, it seems that nothing I am doing, or can do, is, or will ever be, enough to express to my God how thankful I am, or who brilliant He is.

I can sing, shout, dance, spin in circles, speak in tongues, tell others about Him, bow prostrate before Him, weep endlessly, jump in pure elation, say thank you with every coming breath, feed orphans and widows, give to great causes, advance the Kingdom, and yet…none of it seems enough. None of it comes anywhere near even a glimpse of how marvelous my King is!

How frustrating it must be to constantly be in this reality.

How helpless we feel when we cannot contain and simultaneously not express the joy our Lord has given us.

If only You had given us mouths to speak, Adonai, Dayenu!

Aaahhhh! How can I express my love for my God!?
My heart is exploding, but my chest cannot release the full of it’s power.

Help me to worship You in spirit and truth. Help me to do all I can to praise you.

You have filled my heart with wonder. You made me to worship. Lead me to worship You.